Bisexual people are often asked of how dating girls differs from dating guys. They also get a lot of suggestions about having a threesome and questions about how women have sex. Well, the first question is much easier to answer. Sometimes people just want to know if lesbians have better relationships than heterosexual women, if men are more satisfying than lesbian girls. But, despite the common dream in which a dyke and an androgynous guy are fighting to give a bisexual the first orgasm, it isn’t actually a competition.

In fact, people stay people, and the people bisexuals date are more similar than different. The real difference between life in and opposite-gender dating situation and life in a lesbian one rise from individuals’ responses and expectations. Here is the list of several major ones shared by one of the bisexual girls:

The parents

The majority of bisexual girls’ parents are downtrodden when they are with a girl and excited when they are with a guy. And it isn’t the question of homophobia. They just don’t like how distant their bisexual daughter is and how she’s ignoring their religious beliefs. By the way, it would be one thing if she was dating a lesbian author, but if she happens to work at an art house cinema or something like that – she’s not going anywhere!

The thing is parents can love their daughter’s boyfriends, even though she’s incredibly closed about them too. That bisexual girl can do some pretty irreligious things with the men as well, and they’re all organic gardeners, writers and activists.

The body image

That bisexual girl body image is a way healthier when she is with a woman – and that’s not because the guys she’s with aren’t complimentary. Actually, she’s been lucky in that none of her parents have ever criticized a single thing about her body image. The difference is that when she is in a lesbian relationship, she spends hours every single day looking at a girl who is not airbrushed – and to whom she is still amazingly attracted. When she is with a man, she isn’t getting that reality check and sometimes she misses it.

The salads

Her go-to date restaurant charges extra $3 for the same salad when she comes in with a man than when she comes in with a girl. That bisexual girl doesn’t think that’s an example of anti-heterosexual prejudice – she’s supposing it’s the male cashier’s effort to flirt with her when he doesn’t think she is already taken.

What is more, it’s an issue of heteronormativity. People think that a man and a woman at a restaurant are on a date; they don’t understand that two girls are together. That bisexual girl says she can only imagine how annoying that lack of recognition must be when you are homosexual: instead of only every second of your relationships being real, none of them are.

The birth control

This is more about physical inconveniences than societal expectations. Girls cannot get a bisexual woman pregnant. The majority of men have a shot at it. Thus, dating men is more expensive if to speak about reproduction. Moreover, the time a bisexual girl has spent in monogamous relationships with other girls is time she hasn’t wasted looking for the proper birth control or dealing with dryness, spotting and mood swings while searching for her hormonal pills. She also admits that she’s prayed to be relieved of her heterosexuality so she wouldn’t have to deal with birth control.

The catcalls

People in public areas are way more interested in two girls holding hands than they are in an opposite-gender couple holding hands. That bisexual girl gets much more honks when she is with a woman, and more guys screaming ‘dykes’. She also gets more smiles from girls. She has only been catcalled twice while walking with a man. Both times, it was an SUV passenger yelling to the man she was with to ‘stuff that pussy’. Thanks for a sex advice, gal!

The expectations

People ask her where her heterosexual relationships are going. They want to know if she loves him, if she’d marry him, if she’d have children. Somehow this just doesn’t appear as much when she is dating a girl. Perhaps people think she is going through a phase with her girlfriends, or they don’t wish to rub salt in the no-legal-homosexual-marriage-in-her-house-state-also-kids-are-harder-to-come-by-with-two-women weird wound. No matter what is going on, she enjoys the decreased pressure on her gay relationships, and wants people to act the same way about heterosexual ones.